A Face of His Past
by GoddessofSnark
Summary: one of the doctors at County reminds Romano too much of his own past.


DISCLAIMER: Don't own ER, they belong to an assortment of powers that be, least of which is NBC. And even less than that do they belong to me, because I don't own them at all.  
  
A/N: I know, everyone hates both of them, but I like Romano at least. At least give it a shot.  
  
Red curls slicked back in a loose ponytail reaching to the nape of my neck. A red goatee, not yet speckled with grey like it was now. Pale eyes glossed over, and my lips twisted into that familiar half-baked grin that I had on my face so often. The lab coat was bright white over top of the spruce green scrubs that I had worn in his residency. It was a candid photo, taken by one of the nurses who had been on that day, and she had given the picture to me after she had them developed.  
  
The way I looked in that picture brought back memories of times that while they were happier, they were at the same time, all the more brutal on me, they hurt me so much more. I had been in the exact same place that the boy was in right now, I had been that boy. I had been the one that hadn't wanted to do what I did, I was the one that had hated this all throughout med school, but learned to love it. I needed to teach that boy that, I needed to show the boy that this was fun.  
  
The boy had such potential, the boy could really be something, I could turn this boy into my protégée, turn him into one of the best doctors the world had ever seen. there was genius behind those glazed eyes. There was real genius hiding behind the haze. I needed to show the boy that all he had to do was harness that genius, all he had to do was learn that he couldn't be lazy anymore, all I had to do was prove to the boy that he no longer had mommy and daddy to back him up.  
  
I can do so much for this boy; this boy is a doctor's dream student. When he's not stoned he's attentive, if you just would give him a chance, and knock his ego down a few notches, he'd do great. I had been so much like him when I was a med student; I had been his exact replica. He even looked a lot like me, we both have the same red hair, the same pale eyes. Although my hair's now faded slowly away, even in the photo I had found it had been sliding away silently.  
  
I had been the same person he was, the one who used his break to relax in rather unconventional ways, I should have never let it slide the first time, but I had, I had to give the boy some sympathy. It was why I came down so hard on him, I didn't want him to turn out like me. I didn't want to see him slave away his life, wasting it when he could be doing something, the way I had. I hadn't bothered to snap to attention until it was almost too late.  
  
It took me being tossed on my ass and told to make a living for me to realize that I needed to do something with my life, that I couldn't keep on being the lazy bum I had been. Maybe that would be what it would take for him, but I try my hardest to stop it from happening. I want to see him do well without being forced to see consequences. It has become almost my own personal mission, I have nothing better to do now with my time.  
  
If I can't save patients through surgery with one bad arm, I can try and save a med student from going down the same path I did. it's become my own personal mission to do something, anything to stop the boy from becoming the same waste of a man that I had become. Look at me now, I've become the harsh, cynical, egotistical doctor. I had been so eager to learn back then, but I didn't show it. now, I still don't, no matter how much I suck up, no matter how much I absorb.  
  
I always wanted to be the best at anything I did, and once I finally reached that I had it all taken away from me. I'm a washed up doctor, nothing more. And now, that's the path he's heading down, if he even graduates. I hadn't for so long, I had been that boy for so long, I try to erase those memories. It was one of the worst times in my life. If anyone went through what I did, if I learned anything from life, it was how much being lazy really does affect you.  
  
They say I don't have a heart, that I don't know what feelings are. Au contraire, I know what they are, and I feel them. I hide them behind my cynicsm and sarcasm, but they're there. There was a point when I was as compassionate as Mark Greene, there was a point in my life when I wasn't so evil. There was a point in my life when I was nice, as hard as it may be to believe now. there was a point in my life when I was as stupid as this boy, when I was as lazy as this boy, thinking scutwork was below me.  
  
And now, I've got my own new idea, now I have something to do, if only to pass the time. I'm trying to save that boy. The young Morris, the resident idiot of the ER. But he's got so much potential, he's got such a chance, he's a bright kid, he's got potential. All I have to do is knock some sense into him, teach the boy how to put that potential to some use. My past has come back to haunt me, my past has come back to me face to face, and now I have a chance to change it. 


End file.
